I wish I could get rid of Ativan. It doesn’t work as well as it used to. This latest episode of horrible anxiety started after I tried to cut down on it. I got back on my regular dose, and the anxiety persisted. So I have lots of days where I simply feel that I’m in withdrawal.

Just two days ago, I took 7 milligrams of Ativan (Lorazepam) and ended up in the ER. Not with overdose, but with a panic attack! All of the Ativan I took didn’t make a dent in it, although I was slurring my speech. Huh.

I got back on Zoloft, which I had stopped in May, which was a huge mistake. This is my second day on Zoloft again. Yesterday was fabulous. I even went out to eat with friends, and only had minimal anxiety. Today was great until about 5:30. I rode my bike with my family until I was exhausted. I felt good, albeit exhausted, until 5:30. Then I got the pain in my shoulders and the left side of my chest. It must be some wicked muscle tension! I realized that I was tense, and breathing shallowly. I took my usual 2 mg of Ativan.

My appetite has been way off, which thrills me, because I’ve lost another five pounds. I’m now down to 215. From 250, this is a very good thing.

I’ve been eating low-carb, but I’ve cheated twice in the past two days. Yesterday evening with a Mexican pastry, and today with a handful of croutons, which incidentally, made me wheeze.

I haven’t had the running to the bathroom thing for a couple of days, which is very nice. Not hardly any heart skipping PVC things, either, which had been a problem when trying to get back on Zoloft.

I’ve decided that ANY day I have without soooo much anxiety I will absolutely seize, and enjoy to the max. I’ve got to do something to make up for all the days laying in my bed feeling horrible.

The sunshine outdoors is beautiful.